Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
