Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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