Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
