Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize