No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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