Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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