a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
