FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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