Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
