sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
