So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
