LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
