You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize