She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
