Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
