I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
