I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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