YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
