how can u be prego again
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
