I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
