an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
