As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
