Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
