I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
