These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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