I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
