Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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