o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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