Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
