Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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