You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
