If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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