this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
