She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
