Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
