He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
