you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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