The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
