Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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