Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize