'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
