Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
