u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
