remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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