Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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