Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What a dumb baby whore.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
