Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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