Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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