I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
