maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
