if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
