porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
