yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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