I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
