Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
