mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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