Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
