btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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