I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
