**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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