If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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