Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry cookEmonster hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?

Fav 41 1115 3733
share tweet
(602): View more from Arizona

I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.

(623): View more from Arizona

Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.

Fav 36 4955 936
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence

Fav 3 1928 865
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(661): View more from California

Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?

Fav 3 40 58
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.

Fav 0 30 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT