I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We don't watch enough power rangers
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
