Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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